By Patrick Sipperly
I made it through airport security in record time only to find out my noon flight's been delayed by more than an hour? Terrific. I could have used that time in the lounge chair by the pool at the hotel. Another half an hour on each side and my tan would be perfect. The rest of me is nearly there too. Just a few more pounds off my butt. If I could just figure out a way to move the fat elsewhere. I'd be rich.
I'll get a coffee and see if there's an open seat by the window. Whew! Gate 17 looks packed. Glad I'm not taking that flight. Lots of kids too. How will they get those huge strollers on the plane? Nothing like those when I was growing up.
Well, it's not Starbucks, but it'll do. Should I get that last raspberry scone too?
“Anything else today ma'am?”
“No thank you. Just the coffee.”
Ma'am? I'm not that old, honey. Speaking of honey...there it is right next to the whole milk.
Oh good, there is a seat. Don't even think about it mister Addidas with your baggy pants. It's mine! Just keep walking.
Too bad the seats on the plane aren't like these. Much more comfortable.
Got my coffee, got a seat with a view and another next me for my carry on. This is almost tolerable for a flight delay.
I wonder what Richard is doing at home right now. Probably cursing at the falling leaves again. He hates raking. I do love the fall though, leaves on the lawn or not. My favorite time of the year. I get to wear all my sweaters. We'll light up the fireplace. And I'll bake and cook all my savory holiday dishes. It'll be Christmas in a blink.
Ack! Oh girl, that hair style doesn't work on you at all. What were you thinking? Hair. What did my brother say? Girls need to pay attention to Victoria Secret models. How many of them have short hair? None as I recall. “Ninety percent of guys like long hair on women,” he'd say. “At least past the shoulders.” Easy for him to say. He doesn't have to roll it, curl it, wash it, untangle it or overheat under it. I love my hair. Does that make me conceited? At least gravity isn't ruining it. Richard likes it too, though I wish he'd play with it more. I wish he'd play with all of me more.
No laptop. That would be handy about now. Oh wait...did I...did I...yes! I did keep that magazine from the hotel. There were some recipes in there between every other page of feminine itch and clothing ads. “Is Your Lover Right For You?” Pathetic. Who reads this trash? And these models. She looks all of thirteen... he's not bad though...great abs. Sigh.
Nice shoes whoever walked by. Thin girl in pale green with a canvas bag. So lawn stain is an official color now. Who'd a thought? At least she's not blocking my view. Those eyes. Terrified eyes. Was she born that way or did someone make her that way? There was a girl back in school. Don't remember her name. She had terrified eyes. We all knew why but never talked about it. I wonder what happened to her after school.
Twenty-five more minutes.
Wow! Someone needs a shower. Think that's my cue to stretch my legs. Whoever came up with rollers for luggage was a genius. Probably a well-traveled woman.
There's obviously no height requirement for TSA. That's the second really short agent I've seen since I arrived. I couldn't do TSA. Couldn't deal with the people. TMI...Too Many Idiots! And the responsibility. It's definitely a new world since nine-eleven.
You've got to be kidding me. Get a bra for those! That's obscene.
I wonder if I can get a free refill... Oh good, he remembers me.
“Was it regular or decaff?”
“Regular with room for cream please.”
“Coming up.”
Sweet man. Warm and gentle. I'll him leave a tip.
More shops than I expected here. Pizza, burgers, souvenirs, magazines, and restrooms. One more lap, hit the ladies room, and it's back to the gate to sit and wait.
Interesting carpet design for an airport. Ten more minutes. Fourteen Oh Eight...is that my flight number? Nope. Eighteen Oh Four.
Sun's going down...and my seat looks taken. I'll sit over there where the sun won't be in my eyes, two seats over from that bag. Hope someone didn't forget something.
There. I'll sit here and sit another two-plus hours on the plane. Whoever had BO is gone. That's a relief. Did I put my house key in my purse? Not there... mmmm. Oh, it's here in my jacket. Enjoyed the visit, but looking forward to being home and in my own bed.
Getting crowded all of the sudden. Two flights arriving about the same time it looks like.
Is that my phone? No, I don't use the vibrate setting. Probably the guy behind me. He's gonna miss his call. Wait..it's not buzzing behind me. It's coming from that canvas bag next to m--
I made it through airport security in record time only to find out my noon flight's been delayed by more than an hour? Terrific. I could have used that time in the lounge chair by the pool at the hotel. Another half an hour on each side and my tan would be perfect. The rest of me is nearly there too. Just a few more pounds off my butt. If I could just figure out a way to move the fat elsewhere. I'd be rich.
I'll get a coffee and see if there's an open seat by the window. Whew! Gate 17 looks packed. Glad I'm not taking that flight. Lots of kids too. How will they get those huge strollers on the plane? Nothing like those when I was growing up.
Well, it's not Starbucks, but it'll do. Should I get that last raspberry scone too?
“Anything else today ma'am?”
“No thank you. Just the coffee.”
Ma'am? I'm not that old, honey. Speaking of honey...there it is right next to the whole milk.
Oh good, there is a seat. Don't even think about it mister Addidas with your baggy pants. It's mine! Just keep walking.
Too bad the seats on the plane aren't like these. Much more comfortable.
Got my coffee, got a seat with a view and another next me for my carry on. This is almost tolerable for a flight delay.
I wonder what Richard is doing at home right now. Probably cursing at the falling leaves again. He hates raking. I do love the fall though, leaves on the lawn or not. My favorite time of the year. I get to wear all my sweaters. We'll light up the fireplace. And I'll bake and cook all my savory holiday dishes. It'll be Christmas in a blink.
Ack! Oh girl, that hair style doesn't work on you at all. What were you thinking? Hair. What did my brother say? Girls need to pay attention to Victoria Secret models. How many of them have short hair? None as I recall. “Ninety percent of guys like long hair on women,” he'd say. “At least past the shoulders.” Easy for him to say. He doesn't have to roll it, curl it, wash it, untangle it or overheat under it. I love my hair. Does that make me conceited? At least gravity isn't ruining it. Richard likes it too, though I wish he'd play with it more. I wish he'd play with all of me more.
No laptop. That would be handy about now. Oh wait...did I...did I...yes! I did keep that magazine from the hotel. There were some recipes in there between every other page of feminine itch and clothing ads. “Is Your Lover Right For You?” Pathetic. Who reads this trash? And these models. She looks all of thirteen... he's not bad though...great abs. Sigh.
Nice shoes whoever walked by. Thin girl in pale green with a canvas bag. So lawn stain is an official color now. Who'd a thought? At least she's not blocking my view. Those eyes. Terrified eyes. Was she born that way or did someone make her that way? There was a girl back in school. Don't remember her name. She had terrified eyes. We all knew why but never talked about it. I wonder what happened to her after school.
Twenty-five more minutes.
Wow! Someone needs a shower. Think that's my cue to stretch my legs. Whoever came up with rollers for luggage was a genius. Probably a well-traveled woman.
There's obviously no height requirement for TSA. That's the second really short agent I've seen since I arrived. I couldn't do TSA. Couldn't deal with the people. TMI...Too Many Idiots! And the responsibility. It's definitely a new world since nine-eleven.
You've got to be kidding me. Get a bra for those! That's obscene.
I wonder if I can get a free refill... Oh good, he remembers me.
“Was it regular or decaff?”
“Regular with room for cream please.”
“Coming up.”
Sweet man. Warm and gentle. I'll him leave a tip.
More shops than I expected here. Pizza, burgers, souvenirs, magazines, and restrooms. One more lap, hit the ladies room, and it's back to the gate to sit and wait.
Interesting carpet design for an airport. Ten more minutes. Fourteen Oh Eight...is that my flight number? Nope. Eighteen Oh Four.
Sun's going down...and my seat looks taken. I'll sit over there where the sun won't be in my eyes, two seats over from that bag. Hope someone didn't forget something.
There. I'll sit here and sit another two-plus hours on the plane. Whoever had BO is gone. That's a relief. Did I put my house key in my purse? Not there... mmmm. Oh, it's here in my jacket. Enjoyed the visit, but looking forward to being home and in my own bed.
Getting crowded all of the sudden. Two flights arriving about the same time it looks like.
Is that my phone? No, I don't use the vibrate setting. Probably the guy behind me. He's gonna miss his call. Wait..it's not buzzing behind me. It's coming from that canvas bag next to m--